My dad is a Zimbabwean man.  One of my best friends in the entire world is a Zimbabwean man.  I thought Zim men were great.  Sadly, they are not (yes, generalising I know).  But I feel justified in doing so.  I found and read an article headlined: “BYO man beats up bikini wife“.  (What’s a bikini wife?  Is there a one-piece wife too?  And a tankini wife?).  The responses are predominantly patriarchally misogynistic.  That description has far too many syllables but I meant every one.

This is the run down to the article in case you’re too lazy to read it: Wife wears bikini.  Wife wanders outside into her own yard complete with one ”very tall brick wall” and lies down.  Useless parents’ boys climb trees and walls to look at her.  Her husband (Vincent Shoko) returns and beats her for “basking in the glory of being a spectacle” – for showing off her body to anyone other than himself.  Woman relocates to her parents’ house.

What the “H”?  This is horrible.  Nevermind the story, it’s the responses that I’m even more concerned about.  Comments ranged from well done Vincent Shoko” (Chingumbe [Kuno]), to “This woman is crazy beyond measure and imagination!!!Why any1 want would to flaunt thier dust filled ass in a high density surburb is beyond me!!Mr Shoko well done…. ” (Khandelibi [Khalanyoni]).  And he can’t spell either, sis.  How does he know her ass had dust in (IN?) it?  Was he one of the lascivious teenage miscreants sneaking a peek? And why did her ass have dust in it? I think Khandelibi must have some strange ideas about how to make a poo.  Try a toilet next time Sir.

Ok, so there are a handful of vincent-you’re-acting-like-a-neanderthal comments (which I think are completely spot on) and I laud Fafidho (England), Frank K (Cape Town) and Xolani (Brighton, UK).

Ha.  And look.  Point (mine) proven.  I know all the locations of all three anti-neanderthilia authors: England, Brighton, and Cape Town.  And know neither Kuno nor Khalanyoni (I now know they’re both Zim towns).  Therefore it must be a Zimbabwean thing.  The neanderthals live in Zim and beat women who have had their privacy invaded.

Ok – I’m generalising.  But I chose those five comments based on content, and look at the corresponding geographical correlation.  For many things’ sakes, she was in her own yard — not naked (which should be her choice in her own yard anyway), and boys were spying on her.  She didn’t tempt them, call them over, or post an advertisement.  A parent of one of the boys had this to say, “Boys will be boys and Mrs Shoko should have been more careful”.  That parent sanctions their teenage son being a perverted, peeping Tom.  Bad parenting.  Bad attitude.  Female attitude – the parent was a mother – even women participate in their own oppression.  Don’t women deserve more than this?  “Boys will be boys” – what crap; does that mean in order for Zim boys to be ‘real’ boys they have to conform to the patriarchal standards of misogyny valued by their fathers (and some mothers)?  I’m glad I’m in SA where I can tan in my yard and no-one beats me up

In South Africa, Women’s Day on August 9, commemorates the march of thousands of women to Pretoria’s Union Buildings in 1956 in protest against apartheid’s evil pass laws that sought to restrict the movements of non-white South Africans.

Across the country, males will doubtless be wondering why can’t there be a “Men’s Day” too. The answer, of course, is that every day (including August 9) is in actual fact a man’s day.
While South Africa’s Constitution enshrines gender equality, bodily integrity and reproductive rights and, undoubtedly, there are many women playing an active role in public life, there’s a long, long way to go.

South Africa is a country where girls are fondled on their way to school. Minibus taxi drivers strip a woman to her underwear for daring to wear a miniskirt. The barbaric practice of virginity testing continues (despite it being illegal to subject girls younger than 16 to this). Sex workers are harassed and persecuted by the police. Women face discrimination in the workplace. And the president purportedly believes that a woman wearing a kanga (a wraparound cloth) is an invitation — or, even worse, a justification — to have sex with her.

South Africa is a country where there are 54,000 rapes reported annually — and countless more women face unspeakable abuse.

The advent of South Africa’s democracy has done little to improve the lot of women. Why? Because misogyny and patriarchy are ingrained cultural norms among men — both black and white. It is accepted, even if only implicitly, that women are second-class citizens, subservient to and owned by their masters — men.

South Africa has a crisis of values in which men are brought up to believe they are entitled to treat women as objects to abuse, hurt, exploit, rape, harass, control and patronize. Young boys growing up seeing their mothers being bashed about know no better. And so this vicious cycle of oppression continues.

But can men alone shoulder responsibility for this parlous state of affairs? It is important to bear in mind the role that some (and not all) women play in perpetuating patriarchy. They do this in passively accepting their fate, and in reinforcing the misogynistic worldview espoused by their husbands, raising chauvinists as a result of this.

Senior women members of the African National Congress ruling party — especially those who have served in the Cabinet — have failed utterly to take action against the rampant domestic abuse women face. They have been bought — co-opted into power, perks and patronage. Their loyalty to a patriarchal regime indifferent to the suffering of women has thus far ensured that South Africa’s women remain trapped in their suffering.

Most of these senior party women have remained silent over the HIV/Aids pandemic — of which women bear the brunt. They have been toeing a line that has led to countless deaths and unnecessary infections — the latter, especially, being a direct result of the government’s recalcitrance over the implementation of programs for the prevention of mother-to-child transmission of HIV. The most notable exception, the erstwhile deputy minister of health, Nozizwe Madlala-Routledge, was fired for daring to show integrity and initiative in her response to the crisis.

There are signs of hope. South Africa has a vibrant civil society — and its successes in challenging former President Mbeki’s Aids denialism has proven that through strength, courage and perseverance, things can change.

The local media can also make a huge difference in dismantling the notions and representations of patriarchal society and the tyrannical, dehumanizing symptoms that stem from it. Last year the inspirational talk show host Redi Direko led a protest march to the Noord Street taxi rank (where the above-mentioned miniskirt harassment incident occurred), accompanied by hundreds of women voicing their opposition against misogynist thugs.

The struggle to achieve nonsexism is not over. Liberation and true gender equality is an elusive dream for many millions of South African women and still needs to be fought for — and won. The status quo of the implicit oppression of women will continue unless women — and enlightened men — actively challenge sexism (and the patriarchal systems that underscore it) in all its manifestations.

Alex Matthews is editor of The Soapbox. He writes this in his personal capacity.