The Soapbox | Where South Africans Speak Out

BY MISHQA ROSSIER

Girls are hoarders. The gatherer to your hunter. We keep, caress and love every teddy bear, cat, person and clothing item we can get our hands on.

I didn’t think I had a “problem” per se, until I decided to reorganise my closet. Four “throw out/give to charity” bags later I kind of got the inkling that I might just perhaps vaguely have too many clothes…and shoes…and bags…and belts…and… And yes, I am quite ashamed to admit that in this Everest of clothing items and accessories, the phrase “But I have nothing to wear!” has slipped from these lips on occasion. I hang my head in shame.

I would like to blame my (and most girls in general, mind you) compulsive buyer behaviour (or CBB if you want be cute about it). I sort of just made that up, but I’m sure it must be a real disease, thus a real excuse. Somehow, in my mind, one can never have too many cute dresses, waist-cinching belts or random headbands.

I of course am not alone in my ‘sickness’: most if not all (obvious generalisation here) girls have exactly the same problem as I do. Maybe they just hide it better or attend underground support-group meetings with bad coffee and tennis biscuits. I have tried to combat my problem, limited my spending habits to one item a month but to my dismay I keep it up until I pass by a Mr Price store and then, my friend, it is tickets! Cue internal battle: “and it’s uber cheap here so, I can buy three items and pass them off as one…”

I have basically come as far as to contemplate freezing my poor lil’ savings card in a block of gigantic impenetrable ice. But ice melts, so…next?

Although to me this is not a huge problem. My spending habits are not further damaging the ozone layer or promoting child trafficking: it’s just too many clothes! No biggie, right?  This is the part when one would nod and smile for nodding and smiling’s sake. I guess we all have our little quirks and obsessions. Some collect Elton John posters, or buttons or old used chewing gum (the latter does happen). And I, innocently, preoccupy my time with fashion accessories, clothing and self-image evaluation. On second thoughts, pass that jug of ice water and that deep dish will ya?

Mishqa Rossier is a qualified copywriter that moonlights as a radio producer to support her “retail habit”.